1. Whenever you see that cardinal and gold rush onto the field, your heart actually stops.
2. Film props are NBD, since you’ve seen ‘em all parked outside the film school.
Batmobile? Meh. Been there, ridden in that.
3. You’re an aggressive biker, because it was the only way to survive the crowds of lost freshmen at Hoover and Jefferson.
4. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you still want one of these from Chano’s every time you drink.
I’ll have a #3, please.
5. You saw so many celebs on campus that now you barely even notice them.
6. You irrationally expect all gardens to be Trojan colors, because those are clearly the most beautiful.
7. You, or someone you know, has too many brothers and sisters to keep track of.
8. You still can’t quite understand why all bookstores don’t carry swag.
9. Somewhere, there’s an incriminating photo of you during a Fountain Run.
But you don’t remember taking it.
10. And you’ve developed a keen eye for deciphering the hidden meaning in sculptures.
Like the Finger Fountain, and how it faces UCLA. And that is all I’ll say about that. (Fight on!)
12. You’re basically afraid of being mugged at all times, because you’ve learned something from all those crime bulletins.
14. Since all campus events were held outdoors, you’ve unintentionally amassed a large collection of sunglasses.
15. You’ve figured out how to evade the police if you’re ever in a car chase, because you’ve watched so many happen next to campus.
16. And you think you have street cred, because you’ve officially lived in a sketchy neighborhood for four years.
You don’t, trust me: I’m a person who has street cred. (But not really.)
17. You can’t listen to a marching band that’s not USC. They’re just THAT awesome.
The band performed with Radiohead, OK?
18. Regardless of how many games you’ve been to, seeing this still makes you insanely happy.
19. When someone tells you they went to UCLA, this is your reaction:
Fight on. Fight on.
20. You think it’s perfectly acceptable to show USC pride in every aspect of your life.
21. Like, every aspect.
Because your kids will be going to USC. Even though it’s outrageously expensive and you’ll still be paying off your own loans by the time they’re ready for college.
22. You have zero tolerance for weather that isn’t sunny and warm.
Because you spent all four years adapting to it.
23. If someone ever says the word “row,” this is all you can think about.
24. You appreciate any and all bars, because you only had one option at USC: the 901.
27. But the most important life change is that USC gave you an entirely new family.
Because all USC grads know that Trojans fight on together.