1. Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer


As Rory’s spars with Paris demonstrate, adhering to this adage will serve you well down the road. The girls start off as foes but end up college roomies.

2. It’s Good To Have Friends In High Places, Especially Yale’s Secret Societies


Rory takes a Mary Poppins-style jump with the Life and Death Brigade, a fictional version of Skull & Bones, the secret society of which George W. Bush was a member during his time at Yale.

3. Be Careful What You Put In Writing


It may come back to haunt you, as did Rory’s article in the Yale Daily News about the Yale Ballet Company.

4. Choose Your V.P. Wisely


Renowned bitch Paris Gellar picked the affable, sorta-shy new girl to be her running mate in season two. Paris’ image softened and lifelong friendship ensued.

5. Always Be Mindful Of How You Present Yourself To Society


Debutante balls might seem silly, but Rory understood the importance of putting your best foot forward.

6. Voters Love Family Values


Mother-daughter movie nights are highly encouraged. You’ll seem wholesome.

7. Stealing a Yacht Might Not Be The Best Move For Your Career


As Rory can attest, nights in jail are generally bad for PR.

8. Don’t Forget Your Roots


Rory remains a regular at Luke’s Diner, even after going off to fancy prep school. You’re never too big to rub elbows with the town hooligans.

9. Spend Some Time On The Campaign Trail


After Rory graduates from Yale, she hits the road to cover then-candidate Barack Obama.

10. Never Underestimate The Importance Of Fast-Talking And Thinking On Your Feet


Lorelai and Rory regularly employ rapid-fire speech and throw around witty references.

11. Always, Always Make Sure You’ve Had Your Coffee


Otherwise, things might get ugly.

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