1. Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer
As Rory’s spars with Paris demonstrate, adhering to this adage will serve you well down the road. The girls start off as foes but end up college roomies.
2. It’s Good To Have Friends In High Places, Especially Yale’s Secret Societies
Rory takes a Mary Poppins-style jump with the Life and Death Brigade, a fictional version of Skull & Bones, the secret society of which George W. Bush was a member during his time at Yale.
3. Be Careful What You Put In Writing
It may come back to haunt you, as did Rory’s article in the Yale Daily News about the Yale Ballet Company.
4. Choose Your V.P. Wisely
Renowned bitch Paris Gellar picked the affable, sorta-shy new girl to be her running mate in season two. Paris’ image softened and lifelong friendship ensued.
5. Always Be Mindful Of How You Present Yourself To Society
Debutante balls might seem silly, but Rory understood the importance of putting your best foot forward.
6. Voters Love Family Values
Mother-daughter movie nights are highly encouraged. You’ll seem wholesome.
7. Stealing a Yacht Might Not Be The Best Move For Your Career
As Rory can attest, nights in jail are generally bad for PR.
8. Don’t Forget Your Roots
Rory remains a regular at Luke’s Diner, even after going off to fancy prep school. You’re never too big to rub elbows with the town hooligans.
9. Spend Some Time On The Campaign Trail
After Rory graduates from Yale, she hits the road to cover then-candidate Barack Obama.
10. Never Underestimate The Importance Of Fast-Talking And Thinking On Your Feet
Lorelai and Rory regularly employ rapid-fire speech and throw around witty references.
11. Always, Always Make Sure You’ve Had Your Coffee
Otherwise, things might get ugly.