Get out your phone or a piece a paper – you’re going to want to keep track of your answers!
1. What are you most attracted to physically?
A. Strong, muscular, body-builder types
B. Fit men who dress well
D. Jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guys, who probably sport a day’s worth of scruff
2. Where did you meet him?
A. At the gym
B. Your parents set you up
C. In your cooking or art class
D. Through a friend or an online dating site
3. What does he do for a living?
A. Personal training, boxing, or something equally physical
B. Works in finance
C. Works at a coffee shop or bookstore
D. Works at a start-up company
4. What is his favorite book?
5. Describe your ideal first date:
A. Running a half-marathon
B. Yacht party
C. Poetry reading
D. Happy hour at a local bar
6. You got a promotion at work. How does he react?
A. Celebratory sex!
B. Congratulates you and asks if the promotion comes with a raise
C. Writes a poem that lists the reasons why you deserved the raise
D. Takes you out to dinner
7. Your dog dies. What does he do?
A. Says he’s sorry, but eventually tells you to get over it – it’s just a dog
B. Buys you a new dog
C. Presents a video montage of you and your dog at the funeral he arranged
D. Gives you a hug and tells you he’s sorry
8. What did he get you for Valentine’s Day?
A. When is Valentine’s Day again?
B. A diamond bracelet
C. A homemade picture frame with a picture of the two of you from your first date
D. Flowers and candy
9. You’re going on vacation! Where is he taking you?
A. Jersey Shore
C. New York City
10. How do you think he’d react if you dumped him?
A. He’d punch a hole in the wall
B. He’d find a rebound girl
C. He’d write a song about you to win you back
D. He’d reactivate his OKCupid account
Now, calculate your results!
Count how many times you chose A, B, C, and D. If you got…
Mostly A’s – The Tough Guy
He’s super beefy, and you like it. You’ll go on lots of adventures together and participate in lots of physical activities (wink, wink). However, it may not work out, ‘cuz he’s dumb as bricks – and it’ll be okay, as long as you stay out of the way when you dump him and his ‘roid rage kicks in.
Mostly B’s – The Wealthy Cad
Your guy wears a lot of sweaters, mostly tied around his shoulders. He’s super well-connected, and you’ll have a great time partying on his private yacht. Problem is, he’s completely dependent on his parents and staff, spoiled rotten, and really only cares about himself. But hey, you’ll probably get some nice jewelry out of it.
Mostly C’s – The Artsy Lad
This guy is really sensitive. You’ll get plenty of love letters, thoughtful homemade gifts, songs written about you, and emotional conversations about your feelings. You’ll love that you have a guy who’s not afraid to express himself – until you realize that he’s just using you to perfect his craft and show off his artistic abilities. After that realization, the sappiness will make you want to throw up – but at least you’ll be able to show your friends your nearly-professional Instragram shots of the two of you being adorable.
Mostly D’s – The Average Dude
This guy is moderately attractive – like not so attractive that he’s intimidating, but attractive enough that you’d be willing to go out with him in public. You get drinks together, he gets you flowers on Valentine’s Day, and does everything you’d expect a typical boyfriend to do. You’ll probably date him for a few years, until you realize he’s way more into your friend and always has been. It’s not that he doesn’t think you’re great. You’re perfectly passable – just like him.